Holidays ramp up the dangers in human-gnome relations



If there’s one thing real gnomes hate, it’s being depicted in ridiculous costumes.

I shudder to think what could happen in the homes of people who dare to display this Thanksgiving decoration depicting gnomic Pilgrims and Indians.

It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and all across the United States a lot of food preparation begins today.

If you want to be on good terms with gnomes living in your area (and really, who wouldn’t want to be on good terms with them), forget about silly displays like this. Instead, set some food in bowls outside where it will be quickly discovered by gnomes who are busy with their own holiday preparations.

Gnomes will eat anything you eat, so don’t think of giving them nasty peels or scraps, as that will only succeed in pissing them off.

An offering of fruit, nuts, potatoes, vegetables and cranberry sauce will definitely please them, as will a nice bottle or two of brown ale.

There’s nothing like a nice nap on the sofa after quaffing large quantities of turkey and dressing on Thanksgiving Day. If you don’t want this sacred time spoiled by a blitzkrieg of angry gnomes, a little appeasement now will go a long way tomorrow.

And whatever you do, don’t display any statues of gnomes wearing Pilgrim hats or feathers in your home.

Consider yourself warned!


Add yours →

  1. why would they object to Pilgrim costumes? They already wear outdated jackets or are they weskits ? And baggy pants. What’s the diff.? What are they gonna do? Bite your ankles?? I ain’t scared.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Why would they object??? Well aren’t you the silly one for asking a question like that! I’m actually planning a new blog post to answer these and other questions, but to satisfy your present curiosity, the gnomes’ history is not the same as our (that being American) history. Therefore, they would object quite strenuously to any characterization that they are either Pilgrims or Native Americans. Yes, they do have a harvest feast that is celebrated on the same day as Thanksgiving Day in the United States, but it is more of a seasonal celebration than our own, and doesn’t have the same trappings.


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