Yes, I really do have a part-time job that involves putting price labels on toilet seats. After 33 years in the newspaper business, it’s a job I’m uniquely qualified to perform.
That’s how I happened to be up close and personal today with the Kohler Cachet Nightlight Q3 EB — close enough to take a gander at the promotional literature.
Now I suppose the opportunity to bathe your buns in the soft blue glow of LED lights is its own reward, and gives a new definition to the term “blue light special.” But the thing that’s really got me perplexed is the language that differentiates between a “task light” and a “guide light.”
The literature says that when the seat is down, there’s a “guide light.” I take that to mean that when a woman puts the seat down, a light comes on to guide her ass to the target. Men, however, get a task light when they put the seat up to perform the same function while standing.
Tasking implies work, does it not? Why is peeing a task for men, while women, presumably, need nothing more than a helpful guide?
It’s enough to make any self-respecting man just leave the seat down when he lets fly. That’ll teach ‘em!