I guess I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately …

Blow THIS, Mister Gas Station Man.
Blow THIS, Mister Gas Station Man.

I had intended to write something really funny today, but it being a workaday Monday following a sad, depressing weekend that included a funeral, I’m incapable of humor. Instead, I need to rant.

What have we come to in this country when we have to pay for air? I know it’s not a new phenomenon, but it totally bitch-slapped me today when I really could have used something good in my life. All I wanted was to put some air in my tires after noticing that a couple of them were looking pretty low, but hey, I guess I gotta grab my ankles for that, too!

I don’t know if young people today are even aware, but there used to be a time when you could drive up to any service station and get, you know, SERVICE! Often you didn’t even have to pay for it either. All you had to do was drive up and ask the pump jockey to check the air in your tires, and he’d do it … for free! And he didn’t even expect a tip!

Back in the day, SERVICE stations appreciated your business and weren’t going to charge you for a little bit of freaking air! Nowadays, they all want me to pay $1 just for the privilege of doing it myself while the employees watch! And to top it off, they all have these tinny piece-of-crap vending machines with a compressor barely powerful enough to air up a basketball, much less a set of automobile tires.

They charge $1 for four minutes of air, which the mathematician in me has computed to mean that you have just one minute per tire. If your tires are more than just a couple of pounds low, there’s no way you’ll finish in time, not with a machine that isn’t even putting out enough air to blow Chris Christie, much less a full set of steel-belted radials.

Even running around my car today like a madman from an Indy pit crew, I only got three tires done before the machine petered out with a gasp and a wheeze. I said “screw this,” and I don’t care if the gas station man heard me or not. I decided right then and there to just drive away with the tire pressure all cattywampus before I’d waste another four quarters on his whoring little machine.

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11 Comments

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  1. I could not agree with you more, my friend. I hate those pay for air stations that won’t even give you enough time to check all four tires. At least the place where I get my oil changed will let you check your tires whenever you want.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I second your rant (even if it does make me a second-rant commenter). The first time I encountered one of those air vending machines, it cost 25 cents — and THAT was too much for me. I drove to an auto parts store and bought a small Black & Decker compressor that I keep in the garage. It’s noisy, and not all that fast, but it’s paid for itself at least twice over in the years since I bought it. Any day now, I expect to pull up to a gas pump and discover that someone has come up with a way to charge for do-it-yourself windshield cleaning. Either that, or they’ll subcontract the job to a crew of gnomes who’ll charge at least a buck.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rosemary Parrillo March 23, 2015 — 3:38 pm

    Everyone needs a Wawa in their life…Free ATM! Free air!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Hmmm, I just said to someone the other day, “Well, at least air is still free.” I stand corrected! Just one more example that the world is going to hell in a hand basket!
    Aggie Bill has the right idea. Buy your own compressor. Then teach the gnomes how to operate it. If they feel they are putting one over on the service station, they will be less likely to let the air out of your tires.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m sorry your week has started out so sucky. Everything seems to go south when we’re having a bad patch. There is one gas station in town who has free air, will clean your windows and pump your gas. ( In Arizona you have to pump your own) this place also gives a 10 cents a gallon refund to locals. It is owned by women. Just saying.

    Liked by 1 person

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