I had intended to write something really funny today, but it being a workaday Monday following a sad, depressing weekend that included a funeral, I’m incapable of humor. Instead, I need to rant.
What have we come to in this country when we have to pay for air? I know it’s not a new phenomenon, but it totally bitch-slapped me today when I really could have used something good in my life. All I wanted was to put some air in my tires after noticing that a couple of them were looking pretty low, but hey, I guess I gotta grab my ankles for that, too!
I don’t know if young people today are even aware, but there used to be a time when you could drive up to any service station and get, you know, SERVICE! Often you didn’t even have to pay for it either. All you had to do was drive up and ask the pump jockey to check the air in your tires, and he’d do it … for free! And he didn’t even expect a tip!
Back in the day, SERVICE stations appreciated your business and weren’t going to charge you for a little bit of freaking air! Nowadays, they all want me to pay $1 just for the privilege of doing it myself while the employees watch! And to top it off, they all have these tinny piece-of-crap vending machines with a compressor barely powerful enough to air up a basketball, much less a set of automobile tires.
They charge $1 for four minutes of air, which the mathematician in me has computed to mean that you have just one minute per tire. If your tires are more than just a couple of pounds low, there’s no way you’ll finish in time, not with a machine that isn’t even putting out enough air to blow Chris Christie, much less a full set of steel-belted radials.
Even running around my car today like a madman from an Indy pit crew, I only got three tires done before the machine petered out with a gasp and a wheeze. I said “screw this,” and I don’t care if the gas station man heard me or not. I decided right then and there to just drive away with the tire pressure all cattywampus before I’d waste another four quarters on his whoring little machine.