It’s no longer boring to be put on ice

It might be hard to see, but if you squint your eyes just right, you might just make out the new camouflaged chest freezer.
It might be hard to see, but if you squint your eyes, you might just make out the new camouflaged chest freezer.

I stumbled across something new at work today. I mean I literally stumbled across it. Why? I couldn’t see the damned thing because it’s camouflaged!

That’s right, folks, the camouflaged chest freezer is off the drawing boards and into a Big Orange home-improvement store near you. Now at first I wondered why anybody would want a camouflaged chest freezer, but the more I thought about it, the more it makes sense.

  • Deer, rabbits and turkeys will literally be jumping into this thing and you won’t have to lift a finger, except maybe to close the lid.
  • Unwanted houseguests will be more apt to leave quickly if they can’t find the food supplies.
  • The camouflage makes a bold fashion statement in today’s modern kitchen.
  • Who needs stainless steel appliances with all the messy fingerprints? When you have a camouflaged chest freezer, you won’t worry about smudges, in fact you’ll have trouble enough even finding the damned thing.
  • If you need to stash a body in your freezer, rest assured that no one will ever find it.

But why stop with the camouflage design? This raises a whole new realm of possibilities. Try these:

The Meat Locker Freezer

energy-star-whirlpool-eh185fxtq-white-chest-freezer-175-cu-ft-21430410 Nothing will boost your appetite — and that of your guests — like the sight of swinging meat. Give yourself and your guests some ideas about dinner with the new Meat Locker Freezer.

The Frozen Freezer


Your tykes will be eager to get to the table when they see you removing their chicken nuggets from the Frozen Freezer! You’ll feel good, too, knowing you’ve helped Disney earn another bazillion dollars, while brightening your kitchen in the process. As a companion piece, the Little Mermaid Dishwasher will soon be available.

The Silence of the Freezer


It’ll be a real scream when you pull a package of frozen fava beans from this baby, made all the better when you serve them up with lamb chops and a nice chianti.



Add yours →

  1. Reblogged this on Cordelia's Mom, Still and commented:
    I don’t know about all of you, but I really needed a chuckle today, and this post fit the bill. Enjoy – and then check out some of the other posts on WGR56’s blog.

    (Comments are closed here – please leave comments on the other site.)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. and since you provided me with the chance to laugh…my turn…enjoy this ditty…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Once again it was a good thing I was not eating lunch as I was reading this hilarious entry! Bears may go for a swim in your pool but won’t be able to find the freezer.
    Do let me know when the Little Mermaid Dishwasher becomes available! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. If you really want to camouflage a freezer, you should disguise it as a washer and dryer. No teenagers would go near it, for sure.


  5. Jason Fredric Gilbert October 4, 2015 — 1:32 am

    The silence of the lambs freezer for the win!

    Liked by 1 person

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