I stumbled across something new at work today. I mean I literally stumbled across it. Why? I couldn’t see the damned thing because it’s camouflaged!
That’s right, folks, the camouflaged chest freezer is off the drawing boards and into a Big Orange home-improvement store near you. Now at first I wondered why anybody would want a camouflaged chest freezer, but the more I thought about it, the more it makes sense.
- Deer, rabbits and turkeys will literally be jumping into this thing and you won’t have to lift a finger, except maybe to close the lid.
- Unwanted houseguests will be more apt to leave quickly if they can’t find the food supplies.
- The camouflage makes a bold fashion statement in today’s modern kitchen.
- Who needs stainless steel appliances with all the messy fingerprints? When you have a camouflaged chest freezer, you won’t worry about smudges, in fact you’ll have trouble enough even finding the damned thing.
- If you need to stash a body in your freezer, rest assured that no one will ever find it.
But why stop with the camouflage design? This raises a whole new realm of possibilities. Try these:
The Meat Locker Freezer
The Frozen Freezer
Your tykes will be eager to get to the table when they see you removing their chicken nuggets from the Frozen Freezer! You’ll feel good, too, knowing you’ve helped Disney earn another bazillion dollars, while brightening your kitchen in the process. As a companion piece, the Little Mermaid Dishwasher will soon be available.
The Silence of the Freezer
It’ll be a real scream when you pull a package of frozen fava beans from this baby, made all the better when you serve them up with lamb chops and a nice chianti.