May I have the envelope, please?

The winner of tonight's award is invited to copy this image and display it on his or her blog until the end of time. Alternatively, it can be completely ignored, at each blogger's discretion.
The winner of tonight’s award is invited to copy this image and display it on his or her blog until the end of time. Alternatively, it can be completely ignored, at each blogger’s discretion.

Eventually, a lot of bloggers will be proud winners of the Roamin’ Gnomials Hidden Gem Award, but there’s something about that FIRST Gnomie that will always carry just a little more prestige.

If you missed hearing about the new Roamin’ Gnomials Hidden Gem Award — Gnomie for short —  you can read about it here. But first, let’s talk about the tireless work by our judges as they sweated in preparation for the bestowal of this coveted award. Our judges read thousands — perhaps millions — of blogs before winnowing the field to a select few. From there, judges went over each of the finalists’ blogs with a fine-toothed comb. Their decision wasn’t easy, but in the end, they kept coming back to one blog that best met the criteria of excellence first established by Roamin’ Gnomials itself, along with its sister blog, A Year in the Death of One Man.

I know you’re all getting excited, and we promise that we’ll announce the winner soon! But first, please direct your attention to the Roamin’ Gnomials Dancers!

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You know there are so many fine blogs out there, but only one author who will ever be the very first to display the Roamin’ Gnomials Hidden Gem Award in a place of honor on their blog’s mantlepiece! And there’s no better time than the present to quickly review the criteria our judges used to make their selection:

  1. You must consistently post good material, with most of the words spelled correctly.
  2. Your blog can’t already have a bazillion followers and generate 500 Likes every time your finger twitches toward the blue Publish button. Of course we won’t actually know how many groupies you have, but our impression must be that you don’t have a lot more followers than Roamin’ Gnomials.

Those are pretty strict guidelines, and our judges were hard-pressed to make a final decision. But before we shine the spotlight on tonight’s lucky winner, won’t you please welcome Jerry Lee Lewis as he performs “Great Balls of Fire!”

jerry-lee-lewis-o

Thanks Jerry Lee, and speaking of Great Balls of Fire, there are more than a few balls that are positively smokin’ with anticipation as we prepare to bestow the very first Gnomie, so let’s not prolong the agony! May I have the envelope please?

Crowd grows silent. Paper rustles as the envelope tears . . .

And the winner of the very first Roamin’ Gnomials Hidden Gem Award (drum roll) is Jason Frederic Gilbert, author of the Fat Old Mustache Man Naked Blog!!!!!

Rapturous, ecstatic cheering . . .

Accepting the award for Jason Frederic Gilbert is Jason Frederic Gilbert, live from some obscure village in Israel! We apologize for the picture quality.

Jason Frederic Gilbert, author of the Fat Old Mustache Man Naked Blog, accepts his Gnomie in an obscure village in Israel.
Jason Frederic Gilbert, author of the Fat Old Mustache Man Naked Blog, accepts his Gnomie in an obscure village in Israel.

And that wraps up tonight’s show! I hope you’ll go directly to the Fat Old Mustache Man Naked Blog to experience the captivating writing and photography that make it the deserving winner of this prestigious award.

Thank you, and good night!

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11 Comments

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  1. Excellent choice. His movies are well done too, my favourite being The Coat Room.

    Congratulations JFG!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I agree! Excellent choice! Yay Jason!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. First blog post I read has the F-word in its second sentence and a reference to free porn in the fourth, followed by several repetitions of the S-word. I was too turned off to read any further. Sorry.

    Like

  4. Jason Fredric Gilbert December 29, 2015 — 11:12 pm

    This is the first and only thing I’ve ever won! I’m so thrilled that I’ll finally get use of that custom-made trophy case I had commissioned! Thanks WGR56 for believing in some poor schmuck from Or Yehuda, Israel… Wow…

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Love your blog, Glennr, even though I more often lurk than comment. It’s usually a meal, sometimes a sugary snack, occasionally spinach and broccoli. But always great. Thanks for shedding light on that quirky fat mustache guy.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Maybe there should never be another award given because who could top FAT OLD MUSTACHE MAN NAKED BLOG??? Excellent choice.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, there will certainly be more awards, but just like the Oscar, the Gnomie is seen as the pinnacle, the top of the mountain, so each winner will be a charter member of an exclusive club, though they might talk among themselves about who is best!

      Like

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