Random stuff that drives me batshit crazy: Pipe diapers

Instead of a nice silvery pipe, this pipe diaper is concealing god-knows what! This one has hideous snaps!

I spotted the first one years ago in a movie theater restroom. I thought it a mere curiosity, but since then they’ve spread like a contagion to public restrooms everywhere, so that no matter where I go, there’s no escape.

What is this threat to the pissing public? Pipe diapers, and they’re driving me batshit crazy!

Detail of pipe diaper at left shows several flaws, including: A) Loose top B)Illegal use of a zip tie C) Split material D) Sagging gap that would allow roaches, mice, rats and who knows what else to take up residence!

This deeply flawed pipe diaper is a menace to public health. Detail at right.

Used to be, back in the olden days, nobody was ashamed of their pipes. It was, in fact, comforting to walk into a restroom and see spotless silver drain pipes connected to the sinks. The gleaming metal reassured me. I didn’t have to think about the soap scum, hair, spit, blood and the lord knows what else that was oozing through the inside.

But the good times are over, folks, because some genius has decided to strap on pipe diapers, and who the hell knows what unspeakable filth is leaking inside and making them sag!

Pipe diapers are a plague and I wish they’d just stop. All they do is call even more attention to something I really don’t want to think about at all. There could be roaches crawling around in there, mold, algae, mice . . . virtually anything . . . and none of it wholesome!

Are they in women’s restrooms, too? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t bet against it.

Please, please, please speak to the managers of the establishments you frequent that have pipe diapers installed. Complain that their restrooms are a public health risk because people won’t even want to wash their hands after they … well, you know … because nobody will want to get too close to that sagging, unsightly pipe diaper mess under the sink!

Do it now, because if we don’t stop this menace, pipe diapers could infect us all, but probably not before they drive me batshit crazy!

These pipe diapers look fairly new, and could be made out of some space-age material. But all it’s going to take is one tiny leak and the whole thing could turn mushy and start to sag!